Barefootin' Mama in the Middle of Nowhere

friends forever

I met a girl at 7-11 when i was in grade 12 and we had the same pants… i had just transferred schools and didn’t really know anyone… turns out we shared a spare…. we became best friends… and shared our hearts with one another.  She was alot like me… but just enough different that we didn’t kill one another…. we were the best kind of friends… the ones you don’t have to talk to everyday… the ones that you can call up after six months sobbing and the other would still be there to listen and to hold your hand… the kind that everyone needs to have.

Life got different… i had babies… she had a career… things were harder…. we didn’t talk as much… I was depressed… struggling with my pregnancies… and my new life as a mom… and my isolation… I never told anyone… I couldn’t talk about it… I felt weak… ungrateful… selfish… so instead I just pushed people away… further and further and further… convincing myself that this was a good idea… having nobody was easier than trying to explain to everybody….

I was wrong… I miss that girl… I feel like a piece of my heart is missing… and I have for a long long time…. but I just can’t figure out how to tell her….

We built our friendship on matching pants… and then we got matching tattoos…. and let our friendship fail…

sometimes life sucks

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