Definition of A Person
I went to the movie last night. “Eat Pray Love” a movie starring Julia Roberts (whom I have a secret… or not so secret… crush on).. based on the novel “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. LOVED it!! which only makes sense as I loved the book with all my heart and soul!! It made me want to get divorced, sell all my possessions and run away to places like India and participate in an Indian wedding, then learn how to meditate and stay in a house with no windows and doors…. Wow…. okay, not really… I don’t actually want to divorce my husband… but you know what I mean.
The movie just made me think… about myself… and my life… and where I thought I was headed but where I am actually going now… I’ve changed alot in my life…. my friends say “you’re not the same person” and I argue that I am. But am I?? Or have I grown out of my old skin and become something/someone entirely different?? What is the definition of me?
What is the definition of you? Tell me people…. do you think you have shed your old skin and become someone entirely different??? Or you just some slightly changed version of yourself? Do people change?
Dusky Love
I got to meet my little sister’s new boyfriend last night.
I have two sisters… E.. who is two and a half years younger than me… and then Ashley who is six years younger than me. I love both of my sisters very much and they are undoubtably my best friends…. (which is the sole reason that sometimes when I say I am done having kids I get very sad because Levynn will never have a sister and I can’t imagine life without a sister)….
ANYWAY…. being six years younger than me Ashley will always be my “baby” sister. Because that’s what she was for so many years. I still remember laughing so hard that I cried as she hopped across the living room with cotton balls taped to her butt because she was pretending to be a bunny… and with every hop more of the cotton balls fell off…. trust me… hilarity!! And so I need the guy she marries to be amazing… because she deserves that….
So her boy is nice… he’s pretty quiet but pretty nice… he helped alot… and he didn’t wear his hat in my house (not sure whether Ash warned him or he just doesn’t do it anywhere)…. which is a HUGE deal to me….. you have NO idea… Hats in the house are one of my top five pet peeves… TAKE YOUR EFFING HAT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this rule does not apply to only men…. women don’t have special rights when it comes to wearing hats… take them off… when it’s the national anthem at a rodeo or hockey game or something… stand up, shut up and take your effing hat off… girl or no girl… yes women never had to remove their hats in a previous life… but women also weren’t allowed to vote or go into bars… or wear pants… if you want to keep your hat on during the national anthem you better be in a dress, never drank or smoked and you better not try to voice your opinions…)….. So anyway… her boy is nice… he doesn’t wear his hat in my house… and he attempted to play Cranium with us. This is also a bold move… not alot of people are willing to try games where you have to act like a complete moron running around the kitchen pretending to be a bouncer… or humming the tune of Fur Elise by Beethoven… but he did… so I like him… so far….
While he was over we went for a walk after supper with my kids… while we waiting for Paul to be done combining and come to the house and play with us. I took my camera… and I am super glad that I did….. because this is the treat that was waiting for us outside!
Moments like this… skies like this… they take my breath away. Sunsets actually make me think about love… about real, honest to goodness true love. Because there is a setting sun every single day… it is ALWAYS there… most times it’s just ordinary and you don’t even notice it… but somedays…somedays it’s amazing and glorious and makes you stop in your tracks and look at it three, four, seventy times… and wonder “wow… how did I never see that before? It’s beautiful!” And even as you stand there taking it in… it’s changing right before your eyes and you can never hold on to one second for very long (unless you take a picture)…. And the sunset is never the same twice… just like love… no day with your significant other is ever the same… there are days when the sky is so cloudy you are SURE the sunset isn’t there… it can’t be there… you can’t see it… you can’t feel the warmth of it’s glows… but it’s there… sure as ever it’s there…. and you just have to find a way to see those dark, ominous clouds as beautiful too… that’s the trick I think…. to long love… seeing those dark clouds and important and special… because there will come a time when the sky is FULL of those dark clouds and yet somehow the sun finds a way to peak out of the little cracks and spill it’s golden rays on everything… and that takes your breath away the most I think…. the dusk… when the sun is peeking through the dark clouds and you think…. actually… you don’t think…. you just feel… and it’s nice…. really nice.
Wishbook Dreams
Well today was just another day.
We finished seeding our fall rye… hooray!! And got to be combining the oats!! Double hooray!!! They are running at a super good bushel/acre (100bu/acre) which is AWESOME!!! And the guys are finally starting to smile… a little!
The kids and I did nothing exciting… we played with kitties all afternoon outside in the garden shed… and Levynn makes me laugh with how much she loves them. She gets right down there and puts her face in theirs and says “you goofy? you goofy?” And thinks they are just the best thing. She doesn’t even bat an eyelash when they hiss at her or scratch her.
We fed Paul supper in the field for the second night in a row (which Levynn thinks is a real treat… as she eats on a blanket with the wind blowing dirt in her face and in her food).
After we came home and read some stories in bed, Levynn read herself to sleep…. as I peak in on her in her room I have to chuckle… picture if you will a little girl in a Chicago Bears T-shirt, bug & frog pajama pants, a tiara, hugging her “john deere” and slouched over sleeping, with the wishbook in her lap…… on a page full of curtain rods (which this afternoon she asked me “what’s that mama?” me: “curtain rods Levynn.. they hold up the curtains on the window”… Levynn: “Ohhh….. I need that!”
🙂 Kids sure are entertaining!
LIttle BIt of Birthday~
I spent the entire day in town today with only Emmet…. no Levynn… and I got a TON done…. but everywhere I turned I saw or thought of something that she would have liked… and then I felt guilty for leaving her at daycare… until I got to daycare and she thanked me for dropping her off there for the day…. and they showed me videos of her dancing like a crazy lady (I swear she gets that from her dad)… Then I was glad she had such a nice day…
My day was highly uneventful and boring… I went to the dentist… seriously contemplating moving in there…. if it weren’t for the awful smell I probably would.
Sad note… a girl from my hometown died last night… she had lupus… I use to babysit her son… but we had some weird sort of bond where she loved to party with me when I got older…… she was a very special lady…
Seriously… days like today are why I don’t blog for months on end…. who wants to read about that?
As you may or may not know…. on the 3rd of October it will be Levynn’s second bday… CANNOT WAIT!!!! I am excited to show you pics and tell you ALL about it!! Check out the cake I am going to attempt to make!
She told me she wants a tractor for her birthday!! She has no idea what a birthday is… but she wants one… spoiler alert… I bought her one today!!!!!! I bought her a replica john deere 4020 tractor ……. her daddy has a 4010 (his has a cab… and a loader….) but they didn’t have one exactly like that… and the ones like our chore tractor to be… they were made of plastic and she would bust them! THis one is made of metal!!! It is unbreakable (see post in a few months when she proves me wrong)….
Family pics tomorrow…. so excited!!
Emergency Room Follies
So we are driving to the hospital now… it is around 5pm… I had to change and nurse emmet and get him dressed in a bunny hug (with only one hand) while Paul tried to arrange things with the rest of the guys so he could leave them to combine while he drove me to the hospital…
Me: I’ve never had stitches before
Paul: (doesn’t even turn to look at me) oh……. they hurt
Me: What? They freeze my hand first though… how could they hurt??
Paul: The freezing needle hurts ALOT and sometimes they don’t get you all the way frozen… they hurt
I am sitting there.. my head spinning.. I don’t take freezing well at the dentist… in fact, I HATE the dentist… oh my god… I am going to die… let’s turn around… we probably don’t need stitches.. I’ll be A-Okay!!! TURN AROUND!!!!!!!
Me: Oh… well, I’m tough
****at the hospital… after explaining to the nurses’ station what I need and what happened to me they promise to call the doctor in. I am sitting in an exam room waiting.**
NUrse: here lay down on this bed
Me: Why? Are you going to stitch me up?
NUrse: No… no they don’t pay me enough to stitch you up… but sometimes when I am watching the doctor do it I am thinking… I could do a better job than him… (leaning in and whispering)… he’s kind of a hack job…. especially on kids
**WTF?!?! Who says that?? To someone in need of stitches????**
Me: Oh… so the doctor… he’s hear??
Nurse: No…
THEN WHY DO I NEED TO LAY DOWN?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Half an hour later…. the doctor shows up (thank god I didn’t lay down) He looks at my finger and says.. “well, i guess I should give you a couple stitches….. to help this heal up… OR… actually.. we won’t give you any… you just can’t use the finger for a couple weeks… what do you do??”
Me: I’m a mom
Doc: Oh so you won’t have trouble taking a break from work
Me: Ummmmmm actually…. I kinda use that finger every single day
Doc: Oh…. so I will give you a couple stitches…. but it’s really going to hurt
Me: WHY?
Doc: I have to do a ring block and it’s really painful to freeze your finger like that… are you sure you want stitches??
**I Am going to faint…. or be sick to my stomach… or something…**
Paul: Get the stitches… you’ll be fine!
Me: Okay… but how much is it going to hurt???
Doc: Well…. you have two kids… it can’t be any worse than labor…
**Fainting is probably a for sure thing now… I was terrified to a level of extreme about labor before I had kids… and having never experienced it… it still scares the ever loving shit out of me…. maybe I don’t need this finger after all ****
Me:… Can’t you just stick a needle in my wrist and freeze my whole hand? Badabingbadaboom… I don’t need to use my hand tonight… my husband is here… That’ll solve all our problems!
Doc: **looking at me like I have a third eye** no
** so now we are alone and he goes to stick this needle in my finger**
Me: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!! CAn’t you wait for the nurse to come back so someone can hold my hand?
Doc: Oh my god… fine
Nurse: I’m back… what’s up?
Me: Hold my hand please… he said this is going to hurt like labor…
Nurse: Well…… he didn’t lie. Here… breathe like this… we’ll practice your labor breathing
Me: I DIDNT HAVE LABOR… I HAD MY KIDS CUT OUT OF ME
** After some painful freezing (which didn’t hurt nearly like he said it was going to) I tell him I don’t freeze very well…**
DOc: oh your frozen… trust me….
Me: OWWWW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY FINGER???????
Doc: NOthing anymore… let’s get this girl some more freezing
Me: Was he stitching me up???
Nurse: he stopped… we’ll freeze you more..
** Now I have stitches… the doctor leaves…**
Nurse: ** puts some salve stuff on my wound** Are you allergic to anything???
Me: Nope.. why?
Nurse: I should have asked you that before I put that on… it’s an antibiotic ointment
Me: Oh.
Nurse : **cleaning my bloody hand and still bleeding finger** Do you have any infectious diseases?
Me: No… why??
Nurse: hahaha because I should probably be wearing gloves…
And then I smile and say ” well i had aids once…. but I probably won’t catch it again….” In my head of course… in my head….
Stitched Up!!
So I am 24 years old (will be 25 in less than a month) and I received my very first set of stitches (if you don’t count the ones they give you after a c-section… which I dont)… And when I say set I definitely mean set… one… two… that’s all….
Please… let me share!
Date: Saturday
Scene: Miss Scarlett in the kitchen with the mandolin slicer cutting potatoes for supper (around 4:10pm)
Me: Oh boy! (as I cut half of the tip of my ring finger on my right hand off)… seriously… i said “oh boy”… I stand in the kitchen for a moment staring at the blood pouring out of my finger and try to decide whether a band-aid will stop this or not…. decide against it and grab the closest thing to me… (levynn’s undershirt) and wrap it tight around my finger…
Levynn: you okay mama? you okay? you okay mama?
Me: Yes, honey, mama is fine… let’s phone and see what grandma is doing right now…
So I phone Paul’s mom… no answer… i phone my neighbour… then my next neighbour… WHERE IS EVERYONE?!?! I would phone Paul but we JUST started combining and it’s been raining for so long he won’t be happy if I have to tear him away from it because I was too silly to use the guard whilest cutting…. hmmm…. I would drive myself but the hospital is an hour away and there is the matter of my two children… whom i could leave one with her daddy… but how will I take care of Emmet while they stitch up my finger??? I guess I have to call Paul.
RING RING
Paul: hello
me: i think i need stitches…
click…. he’s at the house a few minutes later and it’s obvious he ran….
We decide it’s best for him to take me to the hospital…
***************Stay tuned for that delightful story later on today…. trust me… it’s good…
Raining and Pouring
I AM A TERRIBLE BLOGGER!!!
OKay, I knew this would happen… I was a terrible journaller in my journalling years of life!! But I so thoroughly love it. ANd in my defense… I have been busy starting two businesses and taking care of my two babies and trying to get our farm books done all while dealing with my grouchy husband and inlaws because it WONT STOP FUCKING RAINING>… SERIOUSLY>….. I apologize for the profanity towards the rain… I am not actually cursing the rain… I was raised that cursing the rain is a sincere faux pas… sin… whatever you want to call it… you just don’t curse the rain….
BUT I just did…. the businesses I am starting I will fill you in on later (soon) and I vow to be better at this new post thing!!! Find my one business on facebook called KT Photography. … the one with the bright orange logo!!!
and the other business is a stay-at-home sales thing called SilverSOul…. fill you in more on that… promise!!!
UNtil then… don’t give up on me…. I really am here and have LOTS to tell you….
Bring on the rain 🙂
p.s. my riders better win tomorrow or I am going to have to throw something at the tv!!!!
Accidently with Child 